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  • HELP!! Natural Hair for Dummies! At My Wits (And Split) Ends!

    Hello everyone! I've never posted anything in a natural hair forum, or any other forum for that matter.. All that to say, I am clearly very desperate!! I have no idea what's going on with my hair. It's dry, ends are constantly split, will not grow (hair has been the same length since I went natural, lol, but kinda very serious), does not hold styles, NOTHING WORKS! I've read a million posts about trying different oils, or deep conditioning with this product but when I tell you I don't think anything works for my hair, I'm serious. Just a little background information: I've been natural for almost 3 years and still struggling every day with my hair and my decision to go natural. I had a relaxer before and I had some nice length (mid back). I decided to go natural to embrace my natural hair, free of chemicals. Everyone around me who had gone natural had absolutely beautiful hair, in every texture. My texture is about as tight as they come. I've only seen 4c as the tightest, kinkiest curls so I'll go with that. But if it was up to me I'd be a 5C! I absolutely love natural hair, but I've gotten to the point where I almost hate my hair! That's how rough things have gotten. It's so frustrating to try so many different oils, conditioners, butters and still not get results! And not to mention how expensive it is. I feel like my hair always looks dry, brittle and like it could break off my head with a heavy wind. It has brought me to years many, many, many times and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to a relaxer and throw away three tears of pain, struggle and frustration. So if you've read this far hopefully you sympathize and have some advice. I need all of your help! This is natural hair support for dummies so please don't use the abbreviations lol I don't know what all of them mean. Thank you ahead of time, and my hair and I look forward to your tips and advice!

    Love.
    Last edited by ShayLo; 09-14-2013, 07:37 PM.

  • #2
    Hi. My hair is very tightly coiled as well; I'm just figuring my hair out and it's been 3 years. I found out my hair doesn't like combs and a lot of products. I finger detangle my hair before washing, then dc, and only wash my scalp. Sometimes I use regular conditioner (Tresemme Naturals) as a leave-in with coconut or olive oil. I like to use Camille almond jai twisting butter, Oyin whipped pudding, and DIY whipped Shea butter to style. I also like to use coconut daily in lieu of adding product everyday.

    It took me forever to figure out what my hair likes and dislikes. I got frustrated looking at the hair of others and comparing their length and time natural to mine. Then I had this moment of letting that go and focusing on me, not just my hair but the obsession/frustration with it.

    What is your regimen? Do you wear protective styles? It might be something minor that you can tweak.

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    • #3
      There may be an ingredient in your shampoos and conditioners your hair doesn't like. So tell us what you are using.

      Also are you moisturising and sealing your hair while it's damp?

      Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ShayLo View Post
        Hello everyone! I've never posted anything in a natural hair forum, or any other forum for that matter.. All that to say, I am clearly very desperate!! I have no idea what's going on with my hair. It's dry, ends are constantly split, will not grow (hair has been the same length since I went natural, lol, but kinda very serious), does not hold styles, NOTHING WORKS! I've read a million posts about trying different oils, or deep conditioning with this product but when I tell you I don't think anything works for my hair, I'm serious. Just a little background information: I've been natural for almost 3 years and still struggling every day with my hair and my decision to go natural. I had a relaxer before and I had some nice length (mid back). I decided to go natural to embrace my natural hair, free of chemicals. Everyone around me who had gone natural had absolutely beautiful hair, in every texture. My texture is about as tight as they come. I've only seen 4c as the tightest, kinkiest curls so I'll go with that. But if it was up to me I'd be a 5C! I absolutely love natural hair, but I've gotten to the point where I almost hate my hair! That's how rough things have gotten. It's so frustrating to try so many different oils, conditioners, butters and still not get results! And not to mention how expensive it is. I feel like my hair always looks dry, brittle and like it could break off my head with a heavy wind. It has brought me to years many, many, many times and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to a relaxer and throw away three tears of pain, struggle and frustration. So if you've read this far hopefully you sympathize and have some advice. I need all of your help! This is natural hair support for dummies so please don't use the abbreviations lol I don't know what all of them mean. Thank you ahead of time, and my hair and I look forward to your tips and advice!

        Love.
        I do feel your pain and how you are feeling. I stitch up with products all the time but love hello hydration, eco/ic fantasia mix, stay sof fro, and palmers olive oil spray. I started using a steamer, and love this. It will get better, keep your head up, it will be alright

        Comment


        • #5
          It will get better. Maybe it has to do with your regimen... If you had mid back length before, then your hair can grow. I think every hair can grow-some may be at a faster rate than others.

          Moisturising your hair, especially your ends, regularly is a must! Some use the LOC- liquid, oil, and cream and some use the LCO- Liquid, Cream and Oil. Try both and see how your hair responds. I try to use a spray bottle that contains some water, some of my leave-in conditioner and a few drops of oil(s) as my liquid. My cream is my homemade whipped sheabutter (sheabutter, oils, coconut oil) and I skip the oil in the LOC OR LCO, because the smoothie contains oils already.

          Protect your ends! This is a must too in my opinion as hair breaks off if we don't which prevents length retention. Hair grows all the time, but we need to retain the length as they say and i have found this to be very true.

          The first time I heard to sleep on a satin pillowcase or wear a satin bonnet at bedtime, I chuckled and thought people were taking the hair thing too far, but now? I do both! I wear a satin bonnet and sleep on a satin pillowcase- they are not high quality satin, but they work for now.

          Reasoning behind this is that our hair is fragile/delicate and cotton fabrics can be too hard on our strands and they could break off on contact.

          Deep condition regularly. Do a protein treatment when you feel your hair needs it.... I do one or try to do one every 6weeks.

          Look at Youtube. There are lots and lots of tutorials on there that you will find helpful. They have helped me loads.

          Don't be afraid. Listen to your hair and see what works for it. It will tell you. Start all over and try not to be too agitated by the length of your journey, but on what you are learning about yourself and your hair. That is the journey really.

          All the best!

          Comment


          • #6
            Protein treatments were the magic fix for my hair.

            Sent from my C5170 using CurlyNikki App

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi ShayLo

              I've been natural for 4 years,however, I JUST found out what my likes and hates. Up until that point, my hair plateaued in length and I was just as frustrated as you are. I have many textures in my hair but I believe it is mostly 4c. My routine now consists of: weekly prepoo with warmed coconut oil followed by a wash with a sulfate-free shampoo and my favorite conditioner(it varies). I live by kimmaytube's leave-in conditioner which I seal in my hair with a shea butter whip. My hair is moisturized for days! Every 6 weeks, I do the Aphogee 2-minute reconstrutor protein treatment and trim my ends. They need a good trim by then. Now I'm retaining length and I look forward to what my hair could look like in the next 4 years. Hang in there! I wish you the best in your healthy hair journey!

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