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  • Should I Go Natural?

    I am currently debating whether or not I should go natural. I am in 7th grade (shh! Don't tell anyone!) and I really want healthy hair, and relaxing it wont do any good. Since I'm basically a fetus, I don't have any money for things and my mother is kinda cheap too. I don't think she cares if I go natural but my dad is apostolic and he says cutting hair (for women) is a sin. I feel like my sister is the only one who wants me to do this... She shaves her head and she likes to keep it low. I recently got a perm about 4 days ago and that is what triggered it all. I wanted to go natural last year (I went about 9 months without one) but I didn't really know how to handle my new growth. I couldn't find anyone transitioning with 4C hair! I permed it again and now I'm attempting this again. My hair is in an awkward stage where it barely touches my neck but it's not a pixie cut. I've only cut my hair once in my life and my ends look like shredded cheese. I don't really have self-confidence and I don't want people to stare and make fun of me if I big chop. I don't want to transition for to long because I feel like it would be a repeat of last time. My brother says that If I cut my hair, "It would be a waste". I asked my crush and he said do whatever you want, but he said no at first. I know this is ultimately my decision and it should be all up to me. I shouldn't let people dictate my decisions but I let it happen. I'm only a lowly 7th grader. I don't have the money for this or the support. My best friend is natural, but she has pretty loose curls which wouldn't help me much.My main fear if I big chop is that I will look like a guy and people will make fun of me even more. I have scars on my arms and legs and people make fun of me for that. I can only imagine what people would say if I cut my barely there hair. I don't know what to do. My parents are straight from Ghana (I was born in Ohio) so maybe my mom could help me. Probably not, she would rip out my hair with a fine tooth comb. I don't know what to do.... Please help me...

  • #2
    Hunny, I feel your pain. When I was in 8th grade I wanted to go natural too. My mother refused to let me though because she didnt want to have to "deal with my hair"...the whole reason why she relaxed it in the first place. Going natural is not an easy path. There are grown women who struggle. It pains me to say this, but because of your age, the only way you can truly go natural is with the help and support of others. I say this because you will need someone to buy your hair products and you will need a stylist, whether it be yourself, a family member, or a professional. Anyone who says that 4c natural hair is easy to take care of, is definitely a person living in lala land lol. The three main efforts you must put into growing 4c hair is to moisturize, seal, and protective style--constantly. No you do not have to buy the most expensive products or rock the most elaborate weaves, but you must hit these three basics if you want to see results at all.

    So it is ultimately a conversation you must have with your parents, since they more than likely will be paying for everything. Show them that you have done your research. The pros/cons of big chopping vs transitioning. Show them how unhealthy your relaxed hair is now, and how it is affecting your self esteem. Show them pics and video blogs of those with healthy 4c hair. Tell them about how important it is to your self discovery and independence (if you choose to style yourself). Hell, even throw in some pro-black quotes about no longer conforming to eurocentric standards of beauty lol. It is important that your parents know how well educated you are on the subject. Also, you need to know that whether you do bad or good, people will talk crap and they will flip sides back and forth. So you can never really base a decision to be made off of how others may potentially perceive you. Just keep your head up and smile :]

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