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  • Can I do it again?

    Hi everybody!

    This is my first time posting on here (constant lurker), but I have a huge question. I got my first relaxer when I was around two or three years old, so I never knew what my natural texture was like. As far as I remember, my relaxed hair was always past my shoulders and thick. I decided to go natural when I turned twenty-one. I transitioned for about six months, and then got the relaxed ends whacked off. Three years (full of emotional turmoil) later, I was at the end of my rope. It would take me so long to wash and detangle my hair (we're talking entire evenings, at least four to six hours), and the ends were so dry and damaged, despite constant moisturizing and being very gentle with my hair. So I broke down and got a relaxer again. Big mistake.
    While I like being able to actually do my hair in less time, my hair relaxed hair is still very damaged. It actually refuses to hold a curl. A roller-set will only last about an afternoon on me, no matter what, so my only options are up-do's or wearing it stick-straight (which I hate). So I'm thinking about going natural yet again. I am, however, very hesitant. Everyone I talk to is like "Girl, you got some thick hair!" (Even with the relaxer). "I can't even imagine what your hair was like when it was natural!" "You'd have to be crazy to go back to natural again!" But I miss my natural hair, and the versatility it offered.

    So I am torn. If I keep the relaxer, I'm stuck with unhealthy, totally straight hair. If I go natural again, I have to deal with transitioning (which was no picnic, as y'all know), and super-thick, coarse hair that (if last time proves true again) defies nature with its dryness and sheer ridiculousness.

    I want to go natural again, but I'm afraid that I'll end up tired and frustrated and giving up again. Do any super-coarse, super-thick haired ladies have any advice for my (possible) second go round?

  • #2
    That's the problem with my hair also. If I will not maintain it in rebond, it's kind a freaking curly hair. But I want to let it grow naturally and not expose to any chemicals. How can I do that?


    • #3
      Sorry you had a hard time with your natural hair. I think the first thing you should do is to identify the cause of the dryness in your hair. One thing is that natural hair that is not well moisturized will cause damage and also can cause tangling. No one can decide for you if you should go back to being natural, however, I feel that you know the healthier choice. If you do decided to go natural, look into what your hair porosity is. Knowing this can help you find out why you are not retaining the moisture you put into your hair. Here is one way to find out:

      Next, look at the product you are using to moisture your hair. Some people find that using products with silicone and mineral oil can cause dryness. I recently did an experiment to see this and found that to be the case for my hair, I documented it on my Youtube channel.

      Last, look at the method in which you moisturize your hair. Do you do regular deep conditioning? Are you layering in products to properly seal in the moisture?

      Hope these tips help you. And please remember, take it one day at a time.... and ((HUGS))!!

      Transitioned for 1 year and 17 days (11/2011 - 12/2012)
      Big Chopped on 11/17/2012

      My full regimen:


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      Follow me on Twitter @ DiscoveringNatural

      and on Instagram:


      • #4
        Hi Sawah. Thanks for your reply. I often do deep conditioning, like twice a month. I just shampoo and apply conditioner every other day to avoid dryness. I use L'Oreal and that's the only brand that I don't feel itch on my scalp. Anyways, I'll try to use oils if it will work as well.


        • #5
          Try co-washing! Shampoo strips and dries the hair! Dry hair is also the nature of the natural beast! My hair is not thick, but when I did BC is was very dry! It may take a while to find what works. My go to guru is Naptural85. Her hair is long AND thick!


          • #6
            Research the "Maximum Hydration Method." This can be used on relaxed as well as natural hair.


            The forum moderator is VERY helpful and sweet. Reach out to her. Your hair will thank you for it.