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  • Here She Goes Again: Advice Needed

    Hey There Ladies!!

    AS I've posted before in the past, my mother hasn't always been the most accepting of my natural hair. She's threatened to relax my hair while I was sleeping, forced my to get a weave to look more "presentable", and is still at it. Last Saturday after taking my ACT Test, my mother picked my up and the first thing she said to me was "Oh HELL NO!" I was very confused at first, then she went on to say that she was going shopping later in Rice Village (One of Houston's more affluent areas near Rice University) and that I wasn't going anywhere with her looking ghetto.

    Now, keep this is min, I was wearing dark skinny jeans, a black sweater, and black boots. I thought that I looked fine, but then I realized that She was talking about MY HAIR! My hair was styled in a wash and go. I was experimenting with different styles, so I had the top pulled into two puffs, and the back down. I've seen many naturals rocking this hairstyle who've looked gorgeous, I received ton of compliments that day and I though that I looked really cute. She told m that I had two options, wash y hair/ change my hair style or stay at home. I was offended and appalled that she would say something so insensitive. She's made it known that she doesn't like some of my hairstyles, because she insists that I look like a slave, but I usually to ignore it because she always has something negative to say. I'm going to college next fall and i know that I may also encounter people with this sort of mentality.

    What should I do? What do you think about what my mother said? DO you think that a simple hairstyle can be considered ghetto?
    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"- Eleanor Roosevelt

    Last Relaxer: January 12th, 2013
    Big Chop: April 12th, 2014

  • #2
    You should talk to your mother one on one. Figure out why she feels that way, about natural hair. That's all I can really say about the matter. Simply bc it's your mother your talking about here not some random woman on the street. A serious conversation might open her eyes. I'm sorry you are going through this Sent from my HTC6515LVW using CurlyNikki App

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    • #3
      You have my sympathy. Its not easy convincing a family member that natural hair is beautiful if they have grown up with prejudices against it. Be patient with your mother and remember that the negativity she is sending your way probably stems from years of exposure to the same type of thoughts. You might try this mini-project that I did when I first became relaxer-free and had to convince my dh that it was a good thing. Create your own natural hair beauties book. Get a binder, notebook or scrapbook. Explore magazines that feature naturals. Choose all types of settings like bridal looks and women at desks. Add your favorite pictures to the book as you encounter them. Then, when emotions are not running so high, show her the book. Maybe after she is exposed to how attractive and unique some of the naturals look.. even in business or government roles, perhaps she will lighten up on insisting that you wear your hair differently. Even if she doesn't, you'll find this book can be a real support for you as you pursue life as a naturalista. You also might try to "meet her half-way" as we used to say, by choosing a style that naturals and relaxed heads can do like pony tails or buns and use hairbands and/or ornaments. You may win her acceptance, if not her approval.

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