Chronicles of online dating - Page 469

melzway · #**4681** 10-17-2012, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brwnbarbie24

LOL. Classic

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melzway · #**4682** 10-17-2012, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravenpriestess

OK...need your opinion.What do you think is a decent timeline for taking a trip out of town with someone you're dating? Mike has asked me if that's something I'd like to do.I told him it would be nice.I think he's planning something for my bday which is in Dec.

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I'd go. You guys have been dating for a couple months. Why not? Have fun!

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melzway · #**4683** 10-17-2012, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brwnbarbie24

Okay ladies, I'm going to share something a bit personal with you all. 8 years ago, I met a guy from Blackplanet (It used to be the ish back in the day, don't hate lol). He was FOINE, would do anything for me, was consistent (He called me everyday after I got off from work to see how my day was), he dealt with my bs ( I was extremely hot tempered, went off on the regular and even slapped him once when he was chatting with a female friend, mind you she knew about me and our relationship but I was stupid and insecure), he was faithful to me, he gave me money for random things and if I needed it he would not hesitate to give it to me even if he had to pay to wire it because we lived in different cities, we had an undeniable physical/intimate chemistry, he wanted me to be the mother of his child and spend his life with me, and he would always be my sounding board and give me advice when I needed it, and helped me with school work. Well, he ended moving out of state for his graduate school internship and I really started acting a fool because I felt he would do something because he was back home in his stomping ground and with old friends. So we ended up breaking up because I just couldn't handle it. And I always felt he was hiding something so that contributed to my erratic behavior. We broke up 7 years ago. Throughout the past 7 years, he contacts me every now and then to check on me and see how I'm doing. This guy is my soul mate. No one else compares to him. Well I got married a few years ago, have since divorced and he got married a year after I did. We conversed yesterday because he wanted to confess something to me. He told me he lied about his profession when we were together, that he actually just worked part time in a hospital but he told me he was a teacher. He said he lied because I had my stuff together and he felt inadequate because he was living on campus, I had my own place and he wanted to impress me. I asked him why he just didn't tell me and he was like because I slapped him for just chatting with a friend so he was scared how I would react about him lying lol. He also mentioned that I always used to say, I couldn't stand to be lied to (He remembers more than I do about our relationship lol). So, he really didn't know what to do. When we were together, I was on spring break and he wasn't. That's what really amped up my suspicions because I knew he should have been off as well because I knew that county was out the same week. I forgot what excuse he gave me, but I was like hmmmmm... So I always felt something was afoot. But anyway, I told him if he would have explained it to me as he did now, I would have been understanding. He also told me that he still isn't over me and never will be. I feel the same. But neither of us would ever act on it because he's married. I have also calmed down A LOT since back then. Afterwards, I had a breakdown. I just couldn't believe that something so small had such an impact on us and ultimately contributed to our breakup. I was thinking how my life would have been so different had he come clean and we worked through things. We would definitely be married with a kid. I have never met a man that had the effect he had on me and he never met a woman who had the same effect in him. But we can't do a dang thing about it and I am just beside myself because I feel I will never get that connection again. Men that look like him are typically dogs, but he is actually a good man despite his looks and ability to get any woman he wants. It just sucks man. Thanks for letting me vent.

I understand how you feel. I too have many dating regrets but you have to move on. It's wonderful you can find comfort in your faith. That helps a lot. Try not to dwell on what could have been. Things turned out the way they did for a reason. You're more wise and know what actions and mindset to avoid when your man comes along.
I had a similar situation. I'll share later cause it's too much to type with my phone that keeps correcting every other word.

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Perm2Natural · #**4684** 10-17-2012, 07:06 AM

OMG I TOTALLY understand what you are going through!

I had my first love when I was 18. We were the same age. Even though we were soooo young we fell MAD in love. We were with each other everyday! We laughed so much. He complimented me sooooo much and me him. We were the perfect match. I knew he was the one.

I went to college. He stayed home. I didn't see him as much. He broke up with me because he felt like he didn't have a girlfriend anymore. He wanted to wait until after I graduated and we can be together.

After I graduated all I could think about was him and getting back to what we had. But then HE started school. He was focused on that. Didn't want to get involved in a relationship until after he finished. Which I understood.

But then I got into a relationship for 5yrs. At one point me and this boyfriend broke up for a short while. During that time I went back to my love. Once we met up again the feelings were there again from the jump. But then we had a small argument. I went off about men because I was so mad about my current boyfriend...blah blah blah but it was soo stupid. He didn't like it at all. Was pissed off. We stopped talking.

Now that I am finally broken up from my 2nd boyfriend, I got back in touch with him. He was very excited about reuniting. He thought he was never going to speak to me again. But, he now has a girlfriend of 3 or 4mnths. I was heartbroken. I thought now is the time we can really be together and start our lives again but we can't. We have hung out. The feelings are back. He told me he loves me and never felt the way he does with me with anyone else. He said him and his current girlfriend fight all the time and she gets on his nerves...but he still stays.

I am not about to break up a relationship. Maybe they can work it out. Obviously he wants to or else he would have let her go...I even thought about waiting. He is my IDEAL man. Everything about him, I want. I feel so safe and secure with him. He is extremely nice to me. We have never fought before (Besides that small tidbit we had before) and I feel that we keep coming back to each other for a reason but...I can't wait for him. I have to move on. I am 28yrs old. I want to get married and have babies soon. How long can I wait for him? They will probably be together for a yr and I am here twiddling my thumbs and waiting...

So now I am dating and seeing other guys...just hope I can find that kinda love again...

Quote:

Originally Posted by brwnbarbie24

Okay ladies, I'm going to share something a bit personal with you all. 8 years ago, I met a guy from Blackplanet (It used to be the ish back in the day, don't hate lol). He was FOINE, would do anything for me, was consistent (He called me everyday after I got off from work to see how my day was), he dealt with my bs ( I was extremely hot tempered, went off on the regular and even slapped him once when he was chatting with a female friend, mind you she knew about me and our relationship but I was stupid and insecure), he was faithful to me, he gave me money for random things and if I needed it he would not hesitate to give it to me even if he had to pay to wire it because we lived in different cities, we had an undeniable physical/intimate chemistry, he wanted me to be the mother of his child and spend his life with me, and he would always be my sounding board and give me advice when I needed it, and helped me with school work. Well, he ended moving out of state for his graduate school internship and I really started acting a fool because I felt he would do something because he was back home in his stomping ground and with old friends. So we ended up breaking up because I just couldn't handle it. And I always felt he was hiding something so that contributed to my erratic behavior. We broke up 7 years ago. Throughout the past 7 years, he contacts me every now and then to check on me and see how I'm doing. This guy is my soul mate. No one else compares to him. Well I got married a few years ago, have since divorced and he got married a year after I did. We conversed yesterday because he wanted to confess something to me. He told me he lied about his profession when we were together, that he actually just worked part time in a hospital but he told me he was a teacher. He said he lied because I had my stuff together and he felt inadequate because he was living on campus, I had my own place and he wanted to impress me. I asked him why he just didn't tell me and he was like because I slapped him for just chatting with a friend so he was scared how I would react about him lying lol. He also mentioned that I always used to say, I couldn't stand to be lied to (He remembers more than I do about our relationship lol). So, he really didn't know what to do. When we were together, I was on spring break and he wasn't. That's what really amped up my suspicions because I knew he should have been off as well because I knew that county was out the same week. I forgot what excuse he gave me, but I was like hmmmmm... So I always felt something was afoot. But anyway, I told him if he would have explained it to me as he did now, I would have been understanding. He also told me that he still isn't over me and never will be. I feel the same. But neither of us would ever act on it because he's married. I have also calmed down A LOT since back then. Afterwards, I had a breakdown. I just couldn't believe that something so small had such an impact on us and ultimately contributed to our breakup. I was thinking how my life would have been so different had he come clean and we worked through things. We would definitely be married with a kid. I have never met a man that had the effect he had on me and he never met a woman who had the same effect in him. But we can't do a dang thing about it and I am just beside myself because I feel I will never get that connection again. Men that look like him are typically dogs, but he is actually a good man despite his looks and ability to get any woman he wants. It just sucks man. Thanks for letting me vent.

brwnbarbie24 · #**4685** 10-17-2012, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmygirlSGT

How would you know if the tie unhealthy ?

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If it negative impacts your lives. There are probably millions of people who still care about their first love and things of that nature. But they've been able to move on and have successful relationships.

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement.

Quiana223 · #**4686** 10-17-2012, 10:15 AM

This reminds me of my first love. We broke up.because of our immaturity and my insecurities. We broke up four years ago and ut wasn't until his birthday this year that I feel like I closed the chapter. Sometimes I wish it could turn out like "The Notebook".

Quote:

Originally Posted by brwnbarbie24

Okay ladies, I'm going to share something a bit personal with you all. 8 years ago, I met a guy from Blackplanet (It used to be the ish back in the day, don't hate lol). He was FOINE, would do anything for me, was consistent (He called me everyday after I got off from work to see how my day was), he dealt with my bs ( I was extremely hot tempered, went off on the regular and even slapped him once when he was chatting with a female friend, mind you she knew about me and our relationship but I was stupid and insecure), he was faithful to me, he gave me money for random things and if I needed it he would not hesitate to give it to me even if he had to pay to wire it because we lived in different cities, we had an undeniable physical/intimate chemistry, he wanted me to be the mother of his child and spend his life with me, and he would always be my sounding board and give me advice when I needed it, and helped me with school work. Well, he ended moving out of state for his graduate school internship and I really started acting a fool because I felt he would do something because he was back home in his stomping ground and with old friends. So we ended up breaking up because I just couldn't handle it. And I always felt he was hiding something so that contributed to my erratic behavior. We broke up 7 years ago. Throughout the past 7 years, he contacts me every now and then to check on me and see how I'm doing. This guy is my soul mate. No one else compares to him. Well I got married a few years ago, have since divorced and he got married a year after I did. We conversed yesterday because he wanted to confess something to me. He told me he lied about his profession when we were together, that he actually just worked part time in a hospital but he told me he was a teacher. He said he lied because I had my stuff together and he felt inadequate because he was living on campus, I had my own place and he wanted to impress me. I asked him why he just didn't tell me and he was like because I slapped him for just chatting with a friend so he was scared how I would react about him lying lol. He also mentioned that I always used to say, I couldn't stand to be lied to (He remembers more than I do about our relationship lol). So, he really didn't know what to do. When we were together, I was on spring break and he wasn't. That's what really amped up my suspicions because I knew he should have been off as well because I knew that county was out the same week. I forgot what excuse he gave me, but I was like hmmmmm... So I always felt something was afoot. But anyway, I told him if he would have explained it to me as he did now, I would have been understanding. He also told me that he still isn't over me and never will be. I feel the same. But neither of us would ever act on it because he's married. I have also calmed down A LOT since back then. Afterwards, I had a breakdown. I just couldn't believe that something so small had such an impact on us and ultimately contributed to our breakup. I was thinking how my life would have been so different had he come clean and we worked through things. We would definitely be married with a kid. I have never met a man that had the effect he had on me and he never met a woman who had the same effect in him. But we can't do a dang thing about it and I am just beside myself because I feel I will never get that connection again. Men that look like him are typically dogs, but he is actually a good man despite his looks and ability to get any woman he wants. It just sucks man. Thanks for letting me vent.

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melzway · #**4687** 10-17-2012, 07:53 PM

Ok here's my lost love story:

I was about 21 years old and just graduated from college. My oldest son was 3 yrs old. I met "George" through my friend. It was a group date thing and we were just attracted to each other. We eventually started dating, but nothing exclusive. We always had fun together, had wonderful conversations, and just generally enjoyed being around each other. We dated for about a year or so and I assumed it was going to be a matter of time before we moved the relationship into something more serious. I wasn't pressed cause I was young and just enjoying what we had. I was devastated when he called me and told me he was getting married. I knew he was dating someone else but had no idea it was that serious. I said he felt he was stuck and wished he had met me first. He waited until about a week or so before his marriage. An awesome jerk move.

Life moved on I got married had a kid and divorced. (I actually gave my second son his middle name.) During that time we'd talk occasionally and catch-up with each other's lives. He'd tell me his dis-satisfaction with his marriage and how he wished he'd taken a chance with me. Life continued to move on and I married again. We still maintained our occasional conversations. I'd update him about my marriage and he'd tell me about his. About two years ago he called me telling me he was gonna divorce his wife. I recently divorced my second husband and he wanted advice and comfort. It was so hard to be supportive and not give bad advise but I maintained my objectivity. (LOL) Well they didn't divorce. He wanted to stay with his children and felt she would be vindictive. He again told me he wasn't happy and wondered how life would have been different if we had gotten married. I had often wondered that as well considering the failure of both my marriages to men who really didn't deserve me.

Well now he's separated and they are divorcing this time. He's moved out and now is settled with divorcing. We still talk and plan to meet-up the next time he's up this way. He's also invited me down but I don't see that happening any time soon. Despite all this time I still have feelings for him. In some ways I hope this is our time, but I'm not holding out for that to happen. I'm open to the possibilities because a part of me still believes in love and happy endings.

Ravenpriestess · #**4688** 10-18-2012, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melzway

Ok here's my lost love story:

I was about 21 years old and just graduated from college. My oldest son was 3 yrs old. I met "George" through my friend. It was a group date thing and we were just attracted to each other. We eventually started dating, but nothing exclusive. We always had fun together, had wonderful conversations, and just generally enjoyed being around each other. We dated for about a year or so and I assumed it was going to be a matter of time before we moved the relationship into something more serious. I wasn't pressed cause I was young and just enjoying what we had. I was devastated when he called me and told me he was getting married. I knew he was dating someone else but had no idea it was that serious. I said he felt he was stuck and wished he had met me first. He waited until about a week or so before his marriage. An awesome jerk move.

Life moved on I got married had a kid and divorced. (I actually gave my second son his middle name.) During that time we'd talk occasionally and catch-up with each other's lives. He'd tell me his dis-satisfaction with his marriage and how he wished he'd taken a chance with me. Life continued to move on and I married again. We still maintained our occasional conversations. I'd update him about my marriage and he'd tell me about his. About two years ago he called me telling me he was gonna divorce his wife. I recently divorced my second husband and he wanted advice and comfort. It was so hard to be supportive and not give bad advise but I maintained my objectivity. (LOL) Well they didn't divorce. He wanted to stay with his children and felt she would be vindictive. He again told me he wasn't happy and wondered how life would have been different if we had gotten married. I had often wondered that as well considering the failure of both my marriages to men who really didn't deserve me.

Well now he's separated and they are divorcing this time. He's moved out and now is settled with divorcing. We still talk and plan to meet-up the next time he's up this way. He's also invited me down but I don't see that happening any time soon. Despite all this time I still have feelings for him. In some ways I hope this is our time, but I'm not holding out for that to happen. I'm open to the possibilities because a part of me still believes in love and happy endings.

Mel, it sounds like y'all loved each other after all this time.Wow.This just demonstrates how life is way to short to spend time trying to stay with someone you're not meant to be with.I think you and he still have a chance. I still believe in love and happy endings too.

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