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  • Hair issues at work

    About me: I transitioned for 11 months before my BC on Jan20 2013. My TWA is about 4-5 inches long.

    I started contracting this past Wednesday for a very large corporation. I had a phone interview with the SR Manager on Tuesday and started working on Wednesday. I was excited because the telephone conversation was professional but relaxing. She knew I was black and I knew she was the same. I didn't get a chance to meet her the first day because she was out of the office. The 2nd day was rather uncomfortable. I kept feeling her eyes go back and forth to my hair - but I ignored it because I am still a lil insecure about it. The 3rd day (today) was uneasy all day. Her tone with me was odd and I could not understand what i did to make her treat me different. Later in the day - I walked right into a conversation she was having with a white coworker about 'black hair'. She was explaining how she was natural and hasn't relaxed her hair in years. Something told me to mind my business and keep it moving - but I took it as an opportunity to start over. Boy was I wrong. I explained how I recently cut all of my hair off. She cut me off and said her hair is 'curly' (side eye) but she can't walk around with it like that because she needs a job and still has to come to work. Then I explained that I wasn't using heat for a year. She cut me off again and repeated the same sentence again while staring directly in my face - as if she wanted me to listen to her.

    'Well i need a job and i still have to come to work everyday'

    Was she trying to imply something or am I just overreacting?
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  • #2
    I think she was trying to imply something. PROVE HER WRONG!!!!

    Sent from my SGH-T679 using CurlyNikki App
    sigpicLast relaxer 8/21/09
    BC 11/15/09
    NhappyJackie.Onsugar<<<< My Blog
    My FOTKI Youtube

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    • #3
      I may be way off but I get a jealousy vibe. I think she's self-conscious about her hair not being exactly what she wants it to be and is offended/hurt by you rocking yours out. So now she's trying to make it about work and professionalism, like natural hair isn't allowed in the workplace. As professionally as possible, I would provide 18 chairs for her to take a giant ass seat on any one of them. Who does she think she is?

      Your hair is beautiful by the way, get them curly curls!
      Last perm: April 2, 2012 Long-Term Transitioning
      Wiry texture Coarse strands Normal porosity Normal elasticity High density

      Rhassoul clay Jane Carter Nutrient Replenishing Conditioner
      Komaza Califia Moisturizing Cream Oils Hydrolyzed protein
      Yes to Carrots Shampoo

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Tania View Post
        I may be way off but I get a jealousy vibe. I think she's self-conscious about her hair not being exactly what she wants it to be and is offended/hurt by you rocking yours out. So now she's trying to make it about work and professionalism, like natural hair isn't allowed in the workplace. As professionally as possible, I would provide 18 chairs for her to take a giant ass seat on any one of them. Who does she think she is?

        Your hair is beautiful by the way, get them curly curls!
        + 1000000. This women is obviously working out some of her own insecurities. You and your curls are beautiful.

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        • #5
          She def telling you that your hair is unprofessional. End of story. Wow. Your work must speak for itself. Not everyone wants to wear their hair bone straight or wear weaves cuz others are uncomfortable with the way our hair grows out if our head.

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          • #6
            Sadly it's always our own, she is extremely jealous... But you have the job now and all you have to do is prove her wrong with a smile on your face
            Loving ME, naturally.

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            • #7
              Oh there was definitely something implied she was throwing major shade, but hey a lioness does not lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.You've already gotten the job all you can do from this point forward is be great.

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              • #8
                i'm laughing at her....because one...she said her hair is curly...two...because she said she needs a job...and she needs to come to work.....uhhhh....*side eye*....uhhh she's totally maaad...lol...and jealous...and rude for cutting you off...only haters do that.....upset that she feels the only way to the top is not being natural...and thats an insecurity problem....believing that shes not accepted because of her curls.....oh well..you have the job....now prove her you can be the best while rockin' those curls girl....and i approve this message...lol
                NATURAL SINCE11/30/2011

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                • #9
                  oh yeah...congrats on the job )))
                  NATURAL SINCE11/30/2011

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                  • #10
                    Congrats on the job! Sounds like she is projecting her insecurities with her hair onto you. Grab the most current company policy on dress and hair codes. That way, when she finds a reason to talk to you about some things and just 'happens' to bring up your hair. You have the company policy to fall back on.

                    I know her type, she tries to come off as just another 'sister' helping out a 'sister'. But in reality she just wants everybody to be doing what she is doing.

                    Also, just in case she starts making noise about your hair, note every comment, the day, the time and who was present. That way if there is ever a question, you have backup data. I hate it to be that way, but I have worked in many places and there is always someone who thinks their way is best even if their way is different than company policy.
                    Texture: Coily, zigzags, kinky and one little bit wavy.
                    Store bought Staples: Honey, I'm strong, HE TotallyTwisted Gel, FX Silk Drops silicone serum.
                    Homemade Staples: Mixed butter, butter and oil pomades, handmade hair creams and lotions.
                    Style preference: Low manipulation, tuck and roll, loose buns and twists.
                    Ayurvedic: Henna, amla, zizzy, tulsi, brahmi, shikaikai, etc.

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                    • #11
                      Thanks ladies! I was honestly considering straightening my hair .. Just because but I refuse to let her opinion change me. Tomorrow is a new day - I hope she's ready! 😊

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                      • #12
                        Well, she is definitely going to slip up and say something directly. So, when she does go to HR and file a complaint. In the meantime just smile and do your work.

                        OAN: It probably was a BAD idea to get in a convo already in session. I wouldn't do that again if I were you.
                        http://ravencurlyblogspot.com For curlies who LOVE to take care of their hair and have fun while doing it!

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                        • #13
                          We are with you

                          I am sorry that someone had to treat you this way. I have learned that we hate on each other over the silliest things. I do not judge anyone unless they put in a spot to tell them off.
                          She was dead wrong in what she was saying to you and how she said it.
                          I am really thankful I do not have to work for anyone. I couldn't deal with it. I have not had anyone say anything about my hair. That I know of.

                          Keep our head up high and prove her wrong!
                          Have a very happy hair day!
                          Planning to grow it out!
                          Last Relaxer: 7/26/09
                          Start two strand twist 9/09
                          Stopped getting two strand twist 4/10
                          Low cut 4/10
                          1/13 planning to grow out to SL by 6/13 (or Aug)
                          My Blog: http://teresakay-mylife-joyandpain.blogspot.com




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                          • #14
                            I had to read this twice and I kinda have mixed thoughts. I do think that she was trying to say something to you but I don't think it's necessarily jealousy she is having.
                            There are Some people that do believe that the "natural fro" is a lil unprofessional (lack of a better word) when you get to certain positions of leadership. Do I agree? Heck no!!! but I am aware that there are some people that do feel this way. My grandpa is a perfect example. He worked his up from stock boy to running 5 chains of dine in restaurants. He retired about 10 years ago. When I went natural he told me he wished I hadn't because it can stiffend my success. He still believes that... He isn't one of those self hating black men tho. He had always taught us to love ourselves but at the same time I think he saw some nasty things while going up the chain. And feels like women need to be aware that not everyone is open to the natural movement especially when racism and prejudice (even against our own people) is still very real.
                            Some people just think differently. Just my opinion.
                            But Fyi I'm still natural. Lol

                            Sent from my DROID RAZR using CurlyNikki App
                            Last edited by jessicah02; 02-10-2013, 09:48 AM.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Tania View Post
                              I may be way off but I get a jealousy vibe. I think she's self-conscious about her hair not being exactly what she wants it to be and is offended/hurt by you rocking yours out. So now she's trying to make it about work and professionalism, like natural hair isn't allowed in the workplace. As professionally as possible, I would provide 18 chairs for her to take a giant ass seat on any one of them. Who does she think she is?

                              Your hair is beautiful by the way, get them curly curls!
                              Exactly!! Your hair is gorgeous girl! Don't let anyone bring you down!

                              Sent from my HTC Magic using Tapatalk 2

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