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  • Forced relaxer : advice needed ASAP !

    Okay so you're probably wondering why i've had so many "convincing your parents" questions .. And some of you may remember me from my first natural hair attempt .. If not heres a summary : 2nd transitioning attempt .. 1 month post texturilizer(spellcheck?) 5 months post relaxer (it was actually a relaxer i ha last month but it worked like a texturilizer and only straightened my edges) . Mother forbidds me from going natural . She says im getting a perm (probably next week) so i need to convince her to let me go natural . &' i only have a week to do so ! Please help ! This is very important to me ! Im only 16 &' a junior in high school so i still live under her roof .. ANY HELP IS APPRECIATED ! THANKS

  • #2
    How does your mom feel about roller sets or getting braids? Whats does she not like about natural hair?

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    • #3
      She doesnt like "nappy" hair .. She says "we dont do natural hair" and "say what you want but you're gettin a perm, ion care what you say" ... I usually have braids(senegalese twists and box braids) a majority of the time but my hair stylist is booked ahead of time so i cant ge my hair done until my appointment(after new years)

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      • #4
        Maybe you can find another person to do you braids or twists? Many people transition in braids so can go on and off of braids until you can convince your mom otherwise.

        Sorry to hear your situation.
        Thick, dense, coily, protein friendly 4-something hair

        Product Junkie

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Skinnyminnie0214 View Post
          She doesnt like "nappy" hair .. She says "we dont do natural hair" and "say what you want but you're gettin a perm, ion care what you say" ... I usually have braids(senegalese twists and box braids) a majority of the time but my hair stylist is booked ahead of time so i cant ge my hair done until my appointment(after new years)
          I have a reverse situation as far as thinking goes. My mom thinks that some natural hair like mine is nappy (I have very thick coarse hair) but she is also transitioning and I've been trying to educate her on natural hair.

          We had a conversation last night and I told her that my hair was really dry when she saw it and was also in shock from my Big Chop. I still have very coarse, thick hair but getting my moisture levels up and hair growth has changed the texture a lot.

          Maybe try a compromise with your mom, ask her to give you a year of being natural--enough time to grow out the relaxer that you're putting in and see how you manage with it. As another poster said too roller sets are good for naturals and gives hair a smoother look and finish. On the bright side too, you are getting closer to 18 and being on your own.

          Lol I'm over 40 and my mom had something to say although she didn't bash me. Moms will always be our moms. I'm dreading the day my daughter asks for a perm and praying that I'm doing enough now to show her how to appreciate her natural hair so that she won't desire one but I know we all need to experience various things for ourselves. Good luck.
          Last relaxer May 2011 BC'ed April 13, 2012
          Simba's Details:
          3C/4a Corkscrew/Fractal/Zigzag Curls
          Density: High Density (Me) Tot: (Medium Density)
          Width: Medium (Me) Tot: (Medium to Fine)
          Porosity: Low Porosity (Me) Tot: (High Porosity)

          Simba's Staples: Donna Marie, Camille Rose, GDLI, Organicals, Design Essentials (Organic Cleanse, Twist Lotion, Creme Gel, Mousse), Curls, Bee Mine, Koils By Nature Coco Aloe Deep, Chagrin Valley--Henna Bar and Det. Tea Rinse

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          • #6
            I agree with PinkIce. Try to compromise. In between you getting your braids redone keep it maintained (rods, rollersets etc) so your mom doesnt think you have that "nappy" look. Im 38 and when i chopped in Jul my mom wasnt thrilled either. Once my hair got out of that shocked phase my mom likes it more. I hope this helps some. Good luck keep us posted.

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            • #7
              Okay so i thought i had a week .. But i possibly may only have a day .. This is why my first attempt was a failure ... Had to get a relaxer or else i couldnt go see my family for thanksgiving .. 4 months down the drain.. So i need any advice possible

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Skinnyminnie0214 View Post
                Okay so i thought i had a week .. But i possibly may only have a day .. This is why my first attempt was a failure ... Had to get a relaxer or else i couldnt go see my family for thanksgiving .. 4 months down the drain.. So i need any advice possible
                stand up to your mom and tell her how u feel. its your hair and if she doesnt like what god gave u then so be it
                1 yr post relaxer ^-^
                1 yr post bc ^-^
                Last Relaxer: March 2nd, 2012!!
                BC: 10/12/12

                Hair Goal:
                - SL: June of 2014
                - APL: Dec of 2014
                - BSL: December of 2015


                http://tempobronze124.tumblr.com/

                Motto: Leave the past where it is and move on to the future

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                • #9
                  Girl, you better put some water and moisturizer or gel on your edges then tie it down with a scarf to show your mom how flat and smooth your hair can be without a perm! She'd probably be shocked.

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                  • #10
                    Just an idea but why not get it straightened. Since your mom doesn't like "nappy" hair show her that you can be relaxer free and still have straight hair. Just make sure you use a heat protectant on your hair.

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                    • #11
                      Deleted
                      Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlyNikki App
                      Last edited by curlycris; 12-23-2012, 09:08 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by TempoBronze124 View Post
                        stand up to your mom and tell her how u feel. its your hair and if she doesnt like what god gave u then so be it
                        It's her hair, but that's her mom, and she's living under her roof. There is no "so be it", she is not an adult yet.

                        Sweetie, if you cannot convince your mom to let you go natural, then unfortunately, you will have to wait until you are of age to do whatever you want to it. It is very hard pulling one way and having your parents go another. That's a harsh reality of being a teen.

                        Show her pictures or a regimen. Tell her about the support you have here on Curly Nikki. Perhaps, as someone else said, you could wear braids, or be a straight natural. If none of this works, it's not the end of the world. Your natural hair will be there. There is nothing we can say to you in this forum that will overrule your mom if she has her mind made up already.
                        B/C: April 2, 2011 Last relaxer: October 2010 "Be yourself. Because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind."~Dr. Seuss Blog: http://www.curlynikkiforums.com/curl...part-deux.html

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                        • #13
                          This is true


                          Originally posted by Braelynn Blue View Post
                          It's her hair, but that's her mom, and she's living under her roof. There is no "so be it", she is not an adult yet.

                          Sweetie, if you cannot convince your mom to let you go natural, then unfortunately, you will have to wait until you are of age to do whatever you want to it. It is very hard pulling one way and having your parents go another. That's a harsh reality of being a teen.

                          Show her pictures or a regimen. Tell her about the support you have here on Curly Nikki. Perhaps, as someone else said, you could wear braids, or be a straight natural. If none of this works, it's not the end of the world. Your natural hair will be there. There is nothing we can say to you in this forum that will overrule your mom if she has her mind made up already.
                          I LOVE MY BALTIMORE RAVENS!

                          Product Junkie, and I'm always looking for the next best thing

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Braelynn Blue View Post
                            It's her hair, but that's her mom, and she's living under her roof. There is no "so be it", she is not an adult yet.

                            Sweetie, if you cannot convince your mom to let you go natural, then unfortunately, you will have to wait until you are of age to do whatever you want to it. It is very hard pulling one way and having your parents go another. That's a harsh reality of being a teen.

                            Show her pictures or a regimen. Tell her about the support you have here on Curly Nikki. Perhaps, as someone else said, you could wear braids, or be a straight natural. If none of this works, it's not the end of the world. Your natural hair will be there. There is nothing we can say to you in this forum that will overrule your mom if she has her mind made up already.
                            Braelynn, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you!

                            @SkinnyMinnie: It won't be the end of the world if you end up having to relax again. You can still stretch relaxers and have healthy hair. There are several sites dedicated to growing long, healthy, relaxed hair :-)

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by CurlyChemist94 View Post
                              Braelynn, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you!

                              @SkinnyMinnie: It won't be the end of the world if you end up having to relax again. You can still stretch relaxers and have healthy hair. There are several sites dedicated to growing long, healthy, relaxed hair :-)
                              Youtube : ulovemegs
                              titty length relaxed hair .
                              Stretches relaxed hair for 10 weeks now i believe .
                              At 6 weeks i was like mom... Where is my creamy crack

                              Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlyNikki App

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