I took the natural plunge TWICE! In high school I wasn't brave enough, in college I did it. And it took me a minute, but now-at 27-I know it was the best thing ever.
I take my mothers opinion serious, and for her to be skeptic made me drag it out. Since then my mom, both sisters, and niece have all gone natural. My family looks to me mostly for advice for natural hair.
Tell your mom you want your hair to rest and secretly transition. In between styles, snip off a little relaxed hair. Also show her great YT videos. After about six months of transitioning, show your mom how full your new growth is & how you've maintained healthy hair.

You are a smart girl!! I remember BEGGING 🙏my mom to let me get a PERM when I was younger. 👋I wish I could go back to that conversation and put my hand over my 12 year old mouth.

I didnt tell my mom either💁 although im sure she wouldnt've cared. Ive never had a relaxer but i was SUFFERING from heat damage. I just went into my bathroom an snipped all the straight ends away 😂. I suggest you talk to her and express to her what you want to do with YOUR HAIR. God bless and good luck!

I remember the dreaded hair conversation I tried multple times to have with my mom. One was back in eighth grade when a relaxer had severely damaged my hair. I had wanted to switch hair dressers and she screamed at me saying that I don't know what I'm talking about. I was the one with the ruined hair and she had the nerve to get mad at me for not telling the beautician that it was burning. Well I'm sorry mother. The licensed cosmetologist failed to explain to me that if left on too long, my hair will burn out. Guess that was my fault. Mom then reminded me of the time she had to get her hair cut to her ears due to damage. She made it out to be as if it is something that is bound to happen sooner or later. It still grew back, that was her argument. But I disagreed with her. There was nothing normal about what she was telling me. Things like this dont just happen.

Second convo was during the autumn after I had already graduated high school. I was secretly transitioning and holding off a relaxer. My mom kept hinting for two weeks to make time to go to the beautician. Then finally she burst out one day, when are you gonna get a perm? I timidly stated that i decided against them altogether. I was expecting her to rage. But instead of yelling at me, she kind of talked at me, in a look down her nose sort of way. Like well i can't stop you i guess. Trying to make me feel guilty. Then my brother had the nerve to join in, talking about "I dont understand how after the years it took to get your hair back long and healthy (he was referring to after the incident in eighth grade had occured), why would you want to cut all of that pretty hair off?"

First of all you can stfu because you dont know a thing about women and hair. Just because my hair is long and straight doesnt make it healthy. Do you see the thinness of my hair. What about the balding area in the back where my baby hairs used to be? Did you know that bald spot has been there for years? Did you know that for years i could never wear an updo hairstyle because of that spot? What do you have to say about that scab on the side of my head where that most recent relaxer nearly ate my scalp off? You think that's beauty? You think me watching the back of my hair fall out, my sides thinning out, is beautiful simply because it is long and is bone straight. And you mom... you have the nerve to suggest that i get a few track pieces in the back to thicken my hair out. Are you kidding me?! You make me sick both of you white washed heathens! Don't you realize that i'm choosing to go natural because it is healthier for me? That if i keep up with these stupid relaxers then i will sooner have no more hair for weave to even hold on to!

Little rant there. I guess i still feel a bit of pain from those conversations. I'm sorry but i refuse to join them any longer in their history of self loathing. Now i encourage you to convince your mom to go natural with proven facts on the destruction of relaxers and with pictures celebrating the beauty of natural hair. Not to mention youtube tutorials like many have mentioned before me. Just don't plunge into the discussion. Show her how serious you are about this and that your pride in you heritage enlightens you.

Wow that was deep. But don't be mad at their ignorance. Ignorance is bliss ESPECIALLY when it comes to hair and black women who have grown comfortable with relaxers. Its a sensitive part of some womens' individualities. Some women want that long thick hair that women of other ethnicities have and they think they need to sacrifice their scalp health to get there.
But your story is amazing especially how you had the strength and intellect at a young age to transition and stand up to your mother. She will soon adapt to your hair. Trust me. My mom and I had the same arguments. Even my dad put in his raggedy two cents. But it will get better stay strong!

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Thanks for that. Lol don't you hate it when men try to jump in. Ironically my dad was my biggest fan when it came to going natural. He and white people lol. Sadly i have heard an update from my mom and she said that her hair is now starting to pop off in the back. Sigh. I told her that she knows where i stand on the issue, but she makes every excuse in the world as to why she can't stop relaxing. I swear it truly is creamy crack. I'm telling you my mom has the most beautiful hair too. She showed me her old prom picture. Gorgeous curls she had. Smh she'll see one day. She will grow tired of it.

I know right! Now my dad and mom love my hair! My mom and her sisters had beautiful, long hair when they were younger and now they said I inspired them to go completely chemical-free! I feel that your mom will learn her lesson, but she may have to learn it the hard way.

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